Bella wants Edward to answer one or two more questions before she discuss anything he wants. First is how he knew where she was. He sighs exasperatingly but answers p180 "Fine then. I followed your scent." She then states there was an earlier question she asked about how the mind reading thing works. He explains the best he can and she is curious as to why he cannot hear her.
p181 "My mind doesn't work right? I'm a freak?"She stops stalling and he queries about her latest theory about him.She informs him that she did not come up with it on her own, that in fact it came from Jacob Black on the Indian Reservation. She did research and as nothing quite fit she decided it didn't matter. He is stunned by this, replying p184"You don't care if I'm a monster? If I'm not human?" She simply says no.
p181 "I hear voices in my mind and you're worried that you're the freak"
Whoah....on this note I am feeling Bella may be the psychotic one. After all, we have all seen movies or read books (Dracula foremost) in which we understand the connotations that vampires kill humans. Still my curiosity gets the better of me and I forge ahead.
They continue talking and he debunks vampire myths around sunlight(they don't burn in the sun) however they cannot go out in it and he will show her why sometime, and sleeping in coffins (they don't sleep).
Jacob told Bella that the Cullens weren't supposed to be dangerous because they didn't hunt humans. He tells her that this is true, they survive on the blood of animals but she cannot be complacent because he is still dangerous and it is a mistake for him to be alone with her because it pushes his limits. He also tells her he does not hunt humans because p 187"I don't want to be a monster". Bella explains her theory when his eyes are light then he must not be hungry and when his eyes are dark she knows his mood - crabby.
He tells her it makes him anxious to be away from her and she feels the same. He tries to tell her she should not be so attached and needs to grasp that he is dangerous. They arrive back at home and she asks if he will be at school the next day to which he says yes and that he will save her a seat at lunch. This makes her happy and she goes inside. As she goes upstairs and the phone rings it is Jessica and she is dying for the details but must wait until school as Charlie interrupts.
The chapter ends with Bella thinking p185 "About three things I was absolutely positive. First Edward was a vampire. Second, there was a part of him -and i didn't know how potent that part might be - that thirsted for my blood. And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him."
My feelings are running very high at this point remembering the blush of your first love. This is the one you never forget no matter how many others come in and out of your life. You are anxious when you are away from them for periods of time and when you do not hear from them. You would babble with them just to hear their sweet voice. It is the most euphoric feeling a person can have.
The down side is it can also bring you down to the lowest point you can get. We have all been there. I am starting to remember the difference between the crazy teenage crushes I had and wanting to spend my life with just one person.
I find out each chapter I read that the young girl in Bella is in each and every one of us at some point in our lives. She is discovering herself and becoming a tad more outgoing and I am re-discovering myself and then maybe I can reconcile the girl I was once with the woman I am today.
Edward is a gentleman as I have said before and he knows his limitations although he is currently pushing them to their extremes. I just hope that it does not get out of control. He has a very interesting view of himself which Bella does not see it that way and I have to forge ahead and find out what is next.
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