Chapter 14 (Mind Over Matter)

On the way back home, she asks him to reveal his true age. He hesitates but reveals his story. p287" I was born in Chicago in 1901." He describes that he was dying of Spanish influenza in 1918. His parents had succumbed to the disease and he was alone. Carlisle found him there and turned him. He doesn't remember much except the pain of the transformation and that Carlisle had to have great restraint not to kill him. He tells Bella that Carlisle would never willingly change someone who had another option besides death. He expands on he was first in the Cullen 'clan', followed soon after by Esme. He continues, in turn, about Rosalie and Emmett, how they were turned and why.

Edward explains that Jasper was from a very different life than the Cullens and wanted something else. Alice found him later. He informs that Alice has gifts beyond his own mind. She can see the future, however it CAN change at any moment. Bella delves further and he states Alice knew Jasper was seeking something and then 'saw' Carlisle and knew they were meant to be Cullens. Bella asks for the rest of Alice's story and he enlightens her. p291 "No, and that is a mystery. Alice doesn't remember her human life at all. And she doesn't know who created her. She awoke alone."

Arriving at Bella's, he uses the hidden key to open the door. This shocks Bella and he explains that he comes to her every night watching her sleep because it fascinates him. He teases her that she talks in her sleep and says his name. p294"Don't be self conscious, If I could dream at all, it would be about you. And I'm not ashamed of it." He hears Charlie's arrival and disappears,as he should not know Edward is there. She has dinner with Charlie, and tells him she is going to retire early. Charlie reminds her its Saturday and wonders why she doesn't have plans. She tells him that none of the boys in town interest her.

Up in her room, Bella opens the window and feeling ridiculous whispers for Edward. A laugh from behind, she whirls around, Edward is sprawled on the bed casually. They share a quick chuckle and she requests time to get ready for bed. She goes downstairs to say goodnight to Charlie and then back to be with Edward. She goes to his side and they start talking. He leans down and caresses her face. She notes it seems easier for him to be with her now and he tells her p301 "Its not easy, but this afternoon I was still...undecided." He tells her if it gets to be overwhelming he will leave. He then tells her of the jealousy he felt when the cafeteria crew started asking her out. That was the first night he went to her house and when she called his name is when he made his mind up not to ignore her any longer.

He starts humming something soft like a lullaby. As they are laying entwined, she asks about his family again and he explains that Carlisle has a theory of what they have brought from their human lives. Edward, his sensitivity to the thoughts of those around him, Alice her precognition, Carlisle his compassion, Esme her ability to love, Emmett his strength, Rosalie her tenacity. He then says about Jasper that he can calm down or motivate situations.

The chapter closes on an interesting note. Earlier Edward had said that Emmett and Rosalie would get married again and Bella wonders if she and Edward could ever get to that point. p310 "That's certainly a problem.Its just that you are so soft, so fragile. I have to mind my actions every moment that we're together so that I don't hurt you. I can never, never afford to lose any kind of control when I'm with you." She asks if he has ever been with someone in that way and he says no that he had never felt that way about anyone before Bella. He tells her she should sleep and starts humming that lullaby again softly. p311(b) ' I drifted to sleep in his cold arms.'

WOW! This chapter was certainly packed with a lot of insight into the Cullen family and how they came to be in existence as a familial unit. The growing feelings between Edward and Bella are still beneath a fragile layer that you can see through but not yet fully feel. I personally feel like there are still a few things that need to be peeled back yet and things that need to be worked out if these two souls are to have a shot at a true relationship. I also find it extremely endearing that Stephenie Meyer has written about Edward feeling 'human' emotion for the first time in his existence. We all feel jealousy at one time or another although it is truly a wasted emotion but to experience it for the first time, interesting. As well, at least Edward is trying now to control his range of emotions too in the sense that he is being sensible to say he will leave if it gets to be too much and that he must not lose control. I admire that in the male species rather than acting all macho and tough.

I have never been much into the vampire mania that sweeps the nation now or even years ago when Buffy and Angel were the hot ticket but I am starting to gain some insight into why these crazes begin and recycle after years of being dormant. I need to push on and hope that this book in the saga has a great conclusion.