Chapter 15 (The Cullens)

Bella awakens, remembering the prior day. She realizes Edward is still there in her rocking chair. She hugs him enthusiastically, then excuses herself to freshen up. She returns noticing his hair is combed and he changed clothes. She realizes he left at some point and returned. He teases her that she started talking in her sleep later. p314 "You said you loved me" (b) "You knew that already" then she reaffirms it to which he says p314"You are my life now."

They retreat to the kitchen where she queries his plans for the day. He wants to take her to meet his family. She is afraid and he says he will protect her. She clarifies that she is not afraid of them, just that they may not like her. He reassures her they know everything because there are no secrets in his family. He quips back that Bella should introduce him to Charlie. She maintains that Charlie already knows him and he retorts p317 "As your boyfriend, I mean." "He will need some explanation why I'm around here so much." (b) "Will you be?"(e) "As long as you want me." (b) "I'll always want you."

Bella goes to dress and upon her return he kisses her and she collapses. p319 "What am I going to do with you? Yesterday I kiss you and you attack me! Today you pass out on me!" As they head out , Bella tries not to think of what she is doing. He says p320 "And you're worried, not because you're headed to meet a houseful of vampires, but because you think those vampires won't approve of you, correct?"

Waiting to greet them are Edwards parents, Carlisle and Esme. Bella recalls Dr. Cullen but is still astonished at his youthfulness. Esme reminds her of an olden time film star. Alice runs down the stairs to meet Bella. She kisses her cheek and says p323 "You do smell nice, I never noticed before." Jasper comes in and keeping his distance, greets Bella. Realizing Emmett and Rosalie are absent, Bella thinks they don't like her.

Bella notices a piano and queries Esme about it. She tells that Edward is the musical one and requests that he play. Bella realizes after he is done playing that she is again alone with Edward. She asks after Rosalie and Emmett and he explains Emmett does not have a problem with Bella, but Rosalie needs to come around. She is jealous of Bella because she is human and wishes she was too. Bella absorbs this and asks what the glance between Carlisle and him meant earlier. Edward tells her he is going to stick close to her because p328 "Alice just sees some visitors coming soon." She realizes he means other vampires and shivers.

Edward takes her on a tour of the rest of the house. At the end of the hallway she stops to admire a very large wooden cross hanging. p330 (e) "You can laugh. It is sort of ironic." Edward tells her it is old and belonged to Carlisle's father in the 1630's. She wonders why they keep it and he explains it used to hang in the church where the senior Cullen preached. She is stunned, asks how old Carlisle is and Edward tells her he is 362 years old.

She has a lot of questions and Edward begins Carlisle's story. Originally from London, the only son of an Anglican pastor who persecuted Roman Catholics and other religions, he also believed in the existence of evil such as vampires. The elder pastor led raids to destroy these creatures and when unable to do so , handed the reins to Carlisle. One night in a mob scene Carlisle was attacked by a vampire but not killed. He knew he could not go home again so he hid and underwent the transformation alone. Bella has many other questions and he says p333 "Come on then, I'll show you."

This chapter was extremely detailed and gave you a lot of insight into who each of the Cullens are, where they came from, how they were changed and how they came to be together as a familial unit. It definitely does leave you wanting more in the case of Alice as she remains somewhat of a mystery throughout. As well, you do not know the whole of Edwards story. I am hoping that there is some sort of explanation coming up that gives you more insight into him as a person. You can feel the attachment between Bella and Edward getting ever stronger as the 'meet the family' scenes occur. He and she have a bond now that is tightening better than Crazy Glue. This is crucial to the typical boy/girl relationship we all associate with in real life.

There was some raw humor here as well when Bella passed out from the kiss, and the idea of a cross in a vampire house. I know we all believe what the movies say about garlic and crosses and sunlight and coffins to sleep in when it comes to vampires but as reading this clearly shows, the imagination of the author has made these vampires a kinder and gentler version of the monsters we all assume them to be. Yes I have seen Dracula and Lestat and many other vampire movies through the years. As I said this was never my 'thing' so I avoided it like the plague when I could, however maybe this book (or whole saga) will make me rethink my opinion of writers who write about evil vampires and witches and such. I mean look at Harry Potter... that series is about wizards and witches and has all kinds of mythical creatures good and bad referenced.

I can appreciate now that the romance is the primary focus of what is happening in this book, however looking beneath the surface there is also a lot of myth debunking going on again as told by the author. As a 30-something woman, I say that I really need to move on to the next chapter because I hate to be kept hanging!

Chapter 14 (Mind Over Matter)

On the way back home, she asks him to reveal his true age. He hesitates but reveals his story. p287" I was born in Chicago in 1901." He describes that he was dying of Spanish influenza in 1918. His parents had succumbed to the disease and he was alone. Carlisle found him there and turned him. He doesn't remember much except the pain of the transformation and that Carlisle had to have great restraint not to kill him. He tells Bella that Carlisle would never willingly change someone who had another option besides death. He expands on he was first in the Cullen 'clan', followed soon after by Esme. He continues, in turn, about Rosalie and Emmett, how they were turned and why.

Edward explains that Jasper was from a very different life than the Cullens and wanted something else. Alice found him later. He informs that Alice has gifts beyond his own mind. She can see the future, however it CAN change at any moment. Bella delves further and he states Alice knew Jasper was seeking something and then 'saw' Carlisle and knew they were meant to be Cullens. Bella asks for the rest of Alice's story and he enlightens her. p291 "No, and that is a mystery. Alice doesn't remember her human life at all. And she doesn't know who created her. She awoke alone."

Arriving at Bella's, he uses the hidden key to open the door. This shocks Bella and he explains that he comes to her every night watching her sleep because it fascinates him. He teases her that she talks in her sleep and says his name. p294"Don't be self conscious, If I could dream at all, it would be about you. And I'm not ashamed of it." He hears Charlie's arrival and disappears,as he should not know Edward is there. She has dinner with Charlie, and tells him she is going to retire early. Charlie reminds her its Saturday and wonders why she doesn't have plans. She tells him that none of the boys in town interest her.

Up in her room, Bella opens the window and feeling ridiculous whispers for Edward. A laugh from behind, she whirls around, Edward is sprawled on the bed casually. They share a quick chuckle and she requests time to get ready for bed. She goes downstairs to say goodnight to Charlie and then back to be with Edward. She goes to his side and they start talking. He leans down and caresses her face. She notes it seems easier for him to be with her now and he tells her p301 "Its not easy, but this afternoon I was still...undecided." He tells her if it gets to be overwhelming he will leave. He then tells her of the jealousy he felt when the cafeteria crew started asking her out. That was the first night he went to her house and when she called his name is when he made his mind up not to ignore her any longer.

He starts humming something soft like a lullaby. As they are laying entwined, she asks about his family again and he explains that Carlisle has a theory of what they have brought from their human lives. Edward, his sensitivity to the thoughts of those around him, Alice her precognition, Carlisle his compassion, Esme her ability to love, Emmett his strength, Rosalie her tenacity. He then says about Jasper that he can calm down or motivate situations.

The chapter closes on an interesting note. Earlier Edward had said that Emmett and Rosalie would get married again and Bella wonders if she and Edward could ever get to that point. p310 "That's certainly a problem.Its just that you are so soft, so fragile. I have to mind my actions every moment that we're together so that I don't hurt you. I can never, never afford to lose any kind of control when I'm with you." She asks if he has ever been with someone in that way and he says no that he had never felt that way about anyone before Bella. He tells her she should sleep and starts humming that lullaby again softly. p311(b) ' I drifted to sleep in his cold arms.'

WOW! This chapter was certainly packed with a lot of insight into the Cullen family and how they came to be in existence as a familial unit. The growing feelings between Edward and Bella are still beneath a fragile layer that you can see through but not yet fully feel. I personally feel like there are still a few things that need to be peeled back yet and things that need to be worked out if these two souls are to have a shot at a true relationship. I also find it extremely endearing that Stephenie Meyer has written about Edward feeling 'human' emotion for the first time in his existence. We all feel jealousy at one time or another although it is truly a wasted emotion but to experience it for the first time, interesting. As well, at least Edward is trying now to control his range of emotions too in the sense that he is being sensible to say he will leave if it gets to be too much and that he must not lose control. I admire that in the male species rather than acting all macho and tough.

I have never been much into the vampire mania that sweeps the nation now or even years ago when Buffy and Angel were the hot ticket but I am starting to gain some insight into why these crazes begin and recycle after years of being dormant. I need to push on and hope that this book in the saga has a great conclusion.

Chapter 13 (Confessions)

Wait for it...vampires sparkle in the sun. Bella compares it to p260 'thousands of tiny diamonds.' He queries if she is afraid after this and she replies p261"No more than usual." He smiles, caresses her hand and wants to know what she is thinking. She wants to be able to read his mind and cannot believe he is really real and is afraid. He replies p262 "I don't want you to be afraid." She explains that she is not afraid of him, rather the unknowns of the relationship.

She leans in to him and in a split second he's gone. Apparently Bella went a little too far with that move and he went to calm down. With great effort he returns to Bella swearing he will not hurt her and can control his urges. They resume their talk and both start to reveal how much they care for each other. (B) p266 "And I'm afraid I'd like to stay with you, much more than I should." (E) p266 "I'm essentially a selfish creature. I crave your company too much to do what I should." He then gives an analogy that every human smells different and compares her to the strongest drug and he is an addict for her.

She wants to know how he could hate her so much before they got to know each other. He emotionalizes p270 "The fragrance coming off your skin...I thought it would make me deranged that first day." He tells her he ran to Carlisle to leave Forks (explaining his absence that first week) and realized he was weak for running away rather than facing his problem head on. He came back determined to treat her like everyone else. He wanted her to forget that first day and be friends, although every time he saw her the same jolt as the first day haunted him. He feels it would have been better if he had exposed the secrets then, rather than now. She wonders why.

p273 "Bella, I couldn't live with myself if I ever hurt you. You don't know how it's tortured me. The thought of you, still, white, cold...to never see you blush scarlet again, to never see that flash of intuition in your eyes when you see through my pretenses...it would be unendurable." "You are the most important thing to me now. The most important thing to me ever."

At these words Bella's head is reeling and she tells him that she would p274"rather die than stay away from him." and they laugh at the wonderful moment.

p274 (E)"And so the lion fell in love with the lamb"
(B) "What a stupid Lamb"
(E) What a sick masochistic lion"

They actually get very close and hold hands and caress each others faces and he explains how alien these feelings are to him and he is not used to these 'human instincts' They stay this way for a while and then as they are ready to leave he decides to show Bella how he travels within the confines of the forest. He asks her to climb on his back and then he takes off at a run and the entire forest becomes a complete blur to Bella. When they reach her truck he sets her down and she is a little overwhelmed. He then says he wants to try something. He hesitates, breathes to see if he is still in control and then presses his lips to Bellas. She responded in a true fashion by entangling her fingers in his hair and holding him tight to her. He gently disentangles himself and realizes he is stronger than he could have imagined. He claims p284"she is intoxicated by his very presence" and gets in the truck to drive her home.

Be still my beating heart. How romantic is this? He used the almighty 'L' word and then ever so gently cared for her. He kissed her softly, he expressed his feelings verbally and controlled his deeper evil desires.

For those of you who are reading this and know very little about this saga, this is the chapter that started it all. The authoress, Stephenie Meyer had a dream and when she awoke she was desperate to put it on paper. Thus, Edward and Bella were 'born'.

I admire the talent of bringing your sleep dreams into the real world of writing or any other form of expressionism. I do not remember any of my own dreams except for the night terrors I suffer from occasionally. I have probably had some good dreams if only I could remember, what would that be like?

I am a very open, yet emotional person once you get to know me. Everything I think and feel is laid out for the world to see. I have a structured belief system, mostly that I do not have to see something or hear something to know it exists. This chapter emotes everything that Bella and Edward are feeling about their 'new' relationship. He is still extremely wary of hurting her in the slightest fashion and feels she is a fragile flower meant to be protected. She is feeling a frenetic obsession for him because he is just too perfect and she is afraid that she is living in a dream and he is not real. Yet, with all of that said, the emotion is too real to be ignored and too fantastic to be forgotten.

I pause here for a few minutes and reflect. (Silence. Pause). Okay, on to Chapter 14.

Chapter 12 (Balancing)

We open here with typical male bonding of Charlie and Billy and teen bonding of Jacob and Bella. As sports are being watched Bella is lurking to see if Billy is going to tell Charlie that she was with Edward and his knowledge of Edwards secret. As Billy and Jacob are leaving, Billy looks at her seriously and says p239 "You take care, Bella." Charlie stalls Bella to ask about her day and informs her he will be going fishing on Saturday. He says he knows he leaves her alone too much to which she replies that he is doing a fine job and p241 "I've never minded being alone - I'm too much like you." He smiles and she heads off to bed.

She awakens the next morning and gets ready so the minute her father leaves she can be ready when Edward picks her up. She gets in the car and he starts asking a ton of questions again. He tells Bella that he should have let her drive herself today because he will be leaving immediately after lunch to hunt so he is not tempted when he is alone with her the next day. She says she will walk home and he protests that he and Alice will go get her truck and leave it in the parking lot at school. She does not have her key and he says that's not a problem.

In the lunchroom that day, his family is obvious in their disapproval of Edward sitting with Bella as evidenced when Rosalie glares at Bella and Edward hisses at her quietly to knock it off. He apologizes for her rudeness and skirts the explanation that it is dangerous for his family p246"If this ends badly'" He leaves with two sentiments, the first that she try to be safe and the second of being at her house in the morning to spend the day.

School ends for the day, but not until after another slight altercation with Mike about Edward and also her not going to the dance. She goes to the parking lot and there is her truck, incredibly, in his usual spot. She gets in and finds a note "Be Safe."

Saturday. He is on her doorstep when she opens the door and they climb into the truck and he directs her where to drive. He informs here they are going somewhere he usually goes when the weather is nice. As they talk Bella rambles that she did not tell Charlie where she was going and that she told Jessica that Edward canceled on her. He is angered that nobody knows she is with him and is silent the rest of the drive. They get out of the car and start trekking through the woods and he is reasonably calmer and promises to take her home. They arrive in a beautiful meadow with wildflowers, a stream nearby and the beautiful sunshine directly above.

Bella smiles and Edward takes a deep breath and hesitantly moves into the sunlight.

Time marches on and it is 9:00 PM and I have not yet released my hold on this book full of revelations and myths. It is very rare that I find a read like this that I cannot stop page turning because I absolutely HAVE to know what happens next. When something like this grabs hold and tugs at your senses you know that it is going to keep you on the edge of a knife until the end.

As we get further into the book you can completely see that Bella has a strange obsession with Edward even knowing the 'creature' he is. On the other side, Edward asks a lot of questions when they are together.

My take on this is that Edward is frustrated at not being able to get inside Bellas' head and hear her thoughts so he needs to have her verbalize everything so he can commit it to memory. The note he leaves her in the truck is a clear indication that he wants to care for her and protect her. I think that this is rather chivalrous and not something that enough males in our era take seriously. If more men today acted this way, as well as if more women were demure and undemanding then maybe the world we live in might be better for lasting relationships instead of the increasingly high breakup and divorce rate we live with. You can even see this towards the chapter end as he is supremely concerned that Bella told no one that she would be with him. He is still afraid he will hurt her due to his vampiric nature and she is taking it too lightly.

Swimming that great river to Chapter 13.

Chapter 11 (Complications)

Lunch over, Bella and Edward head to Biology. Class lesson: a movie in a darkened classroom. Sitting there next to him and resisting her need to touch him, also noting his similar restraint. Class over - Edward walks Bella to Gym. Hesitantly he brushes his hand down her face and takes his leave.

Today class changes activities to partnered badminton. Mike offers to partner with Bella, being chivalrous due to her awkwardness. He then starts to give her the 3rd degree about her relationship with Edward. She tells him its none of his business and he comes back with p221 (m) "He looks at you like...like you're something to eat." Mercifully class ends and Bella can escape this scrutiny.

Edward, waiting outside to take Bella home, notices the mood and says he is really starting to dislike Mike. This made Bella a little miffed as she realized he was listening to Mikes thoughts. They get in the car and start talking, first about their 'date' Saturday and then about the conversation they had started in the cafeteria about his hunting habits. He explains that when they hunt they give up all their senses and she is too much of a distraction to him for her to be there because he could turn on her.

The same routine continues daily from Edward picking Bella up for school to him taking her home each afternoon. All the while, when they are together Edward is asking all kinds of questions from the mundane to the complex. Bella answers them all, some making her blush, but most just simplex answers. The Thursday before their 'date' Bella is getting out of the car at home and Edward looks pained. p233 (b) "What is it?" p233 (e) "Another complication" Bella is curious as to what this means and as Edward is pulling away from the curb, another car carrying Billy and Jacob Black driving up the street. Charlie arrives home at the same time. Bellas last thoughts p 235 'Had Billy recognized Edward..Could he really believe the impossible legends his son had scoffed at?..The answer was clear in Billy's eyes. Yes. Yes he could.'

This chapter has been reminiscent of the typical daily lives of teenagers under the blush of first love. The non-stop gabbing, the endless questions, the hesitant touches. There is a lot of roller coaster emotion running through me as I conclude this chapter and forge ahead to the next. Off topic: This sounds crazy but as I post this, I have marked 22 years since graduating High School and left (or so I thought) my teen angst years behind me. I was reminded of this because I looked at a calendar and saw it was the birthday of my favorite cousin who coincidentally turned 22. I always said she was the best graduation gift I received.

As I reminisce about who I was then, I remember my life surrounded by family, a few friends, lots of acquaintances and others who will always remember me as the odd one out. A lot of my peers saw me as strange and unapproachable and never tried to get to know the person inside essentially the person I am today.

Bella on the other hand was a child of divorce, is not comfortable in her own skin, dislikes attention that people seem to pay her especially when it overwhelms her and has had to be a grown-up in many instances of her young life. She has always been the protector and along comes Edward, someone that wants to protect her even knowing that he is the one person that could end up truly hurting her. Her 'craving' for Edward could end up being the biggest mistake in her young life but she is going to make her own decisions. The 'complication' of the Blacks just adds to the mystery of what is going to happen next. I just hope after all this that the book does not end badly. And continue.....

Chapter 10 (Interrogations)

Did Bella dream yesterday? She awoke to a dark day which cheered her because Edward would be in school. Running late, she rushes through her morning routine. Outside the house she is startled to see Edwards' silver car in her driveway. He asks if she wants to ride with him. She did not know if their openness from yesterday would continue so she said nothing. He turned to her and wondered why the silence. She is relieved that he wants to know what she is thinking. p198 (b) "I always tell you what I'm really thinking." (e) "You edit." (b) "Not very much" (e) "Enough to drive me insane."

Asking where the rest of his family is, he says they took Rosalies' car because p199"I'm breaking all the rules now." Jessica meets them in the parking lot with Bellas jacket and hurries off saying she will see Bella later. Edward states that Jessica is waiting to ambush her to find out what is between the two of them. He tells her he can't wait to hear her explanation either and they part ways.

In class Jessica pounces on Bella demanding to know everything that happened and if they were going to go out again. Bella answers and says that he did offer to drive her to Seattle that coming Saturday (the day of the dance Bella is ditching out on). Jessica is in awe of Bella and continues the interrogation about how much Bella likes Edward. p205 (j) "How much do you like him?" (b) "Too much. More than he likes me. But I don't see how I can help that." Bella changes the subject to Mike and Jessica goes along until the bell rings for lunch. She recognizes that Bella is anxious and realizes that she will not be sitting with the crew in the cafeteria.

She meets up with Edward and when they are seated with lunch, he starts breaking down what Bella told Jessica. One thing Bella said bothered him. He stared into Bellas' eyes and says p 208 "Do you truly believe that you care more for me than I do for you?" She tells him yes and he disagrees. She then gets all negative on herself and he tells her she does not see herself clearly.

They start talking about Saturday and as the weather calls for sun he will need to stay out of public view but if she still wants to be with him he will show her why he cannot be exposed to the sun. Then he informs her she should tell Charlie that she will be out with him so that he will not be tempted not to bring her home. Change subject please. Lunch ends and on to Biology class.

So I cannot believe that I have finished 217 pages of this book already. Apparently the writing style of Stephenie Meyer has drawn me in and made me a believer. As Bella and Edward are spending more time together I can believe that the high school sweetheart syndrome is kicking in.

I just do not understand how vampires feel human feelings. They are dead. No heartbeat, no brain function just a walking corpse or so I believed until now. How do they go to school and learn? These are questions I may never get the answers to, however it is more intriguing thinking that vampires can be just like everyone else and still be unique. I understand this is a contradiction in terms but the entire concept is extremely fascinating.

Bella has shown no fear in any of the rough situations she has encountered up to this point, almost getting run over, attacked by a group of strangers, a vampire. This is all too surreal for me . She is timid on the outside and very brave on the interior. If more women were this way we would not feel so undermined in our outer world. I leave you with the knowledge that so far this story, although fictional, has magnetism that will leave you yearning for more. I know it has for me and I look forward to the next chapter.

Chapter 9 (Theory)

Bella wants Edward to answer one or two more questions before she discuss anything he wants. First is how he knew where she was. He sighs exasperatingly but answers p180 "Fine then. I followed your scent." She then states there was an earlier question she asked about how the mind reading thing works. He explains the best he can and she is curious as to why he cannot hear her.

p181 "My mind doesn't work right? I'm a freak?"
p181 "I hear voices in my mind and you're worried that you're the freak"

She stops stalling and he queries about her latest theory about him.She informs him that she did not come up with it on her own, that in fact it came from Jacob Black on the Indian Reservation. She did research and as nothing quite fit she decided it didn't matter. He is stunned by this, replying p184"You don't care if I'm a monster? If I'm not human?" She simply says no.

Whoah....on this note I am feeling Bella may be the psychotic one. After all, we have all seen movies or read books (Dracula foremost) in which we understand the connotations that vampires kill humans. Still my curiosity gets the better of me and I forge ahead.

They continue talking and he debunks vampire myths around sunlight(they don't burn in the sun) however they cannot go out in it and he will show her why sometime, and sleeping in coffins (they don't sleep).

Jacob told Bella that the Cullens weren't supposed to be dangerous because they didn't hunt humans. He tells her that this is true, they survive on the blood of animals but she cannot be complacent because he is still dangerous and it is a mistake for him to be alone with her because it pushes his limits. He also tells her he does not hunt humans because p 187"I don't want to be a monster". Bella explains her theory when his eyes are light then he must not be hungry and when his eyes are dark she knows his mood - crabby.

He tells her it makes him anxious to be away from her and she feels the same. He tries to tell her she should not be so attached and needs to grasp that he is dangerous. They arrive back at home and she asks if he will be at school the next day to which he says yes and that he will save her a seat at lunch. This makes her happy and she goes inside. As she goes upstairs and the phone rings it is Jessica and she is dying for the details but must wait until school as Charlie interrupts.

The chapter ends with Bella thinking p185 "About three things I was absolutely positive. First Edward was a vampire. Second, there was a part of him -and i didn't know how potent that part might be - that thirsted for my blood. And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him."

My feelings are running very high at this point remembering the blush of your first love. This is the one you never forget no matter how many others come in and out of your life. You are anxious when you are away from them for periods of time and when you do not hear from them. You would babble with them just to hear their sweet voice. It is the most euphoric feeling a person can have.

The down side is it can also bring you down to the lowest point you can get. We have all been there. I am starting to remember the difference between the crazy teenage crushes I had and wanting to spend my life with just one person.

I find out each chapter I read that the young girl in Bella is in each and every one of us at some point in our lives. She is discovering herself and becoming a tad more outgoing and I am re-discovering myself and then maybe I can reconcile the girl I was once with the woman I am today.

Edward is a gentleman as I have said before and he knows his limitations although he is currently pushing them to their extremes. I just hope that it does not get out of control. He has a very interesting view of himself which Bella does not see it that way and I have to forge ahead and find out what is next.

Chapter 8 (Port Angeles)

As Bella and her friends head to Port Angeles to 'dress shop' she learns there is a rumor going around that Tyler is taking her to prom. This irritates Bella but she doesn't give it another thought as this is a 'girls' day. After several rejected garments, the girls find the right dresses and accessories. They are going to dinner however, Bella wants to find a bookstore first. Urging her friends to go ahead and she will meet them, they head off in separate directions.

Finding the bookstore with its unappealing look and feel, Bella does not go in, deciding to head back to her friends. She turns to go back the way she came and realizes she has lost her bearings directionally. A group of men on the path startle her, so she turns and heads down a different direction. Attempting to regain her orientation, those same guys and a few others are following her and it does not look good. As they circle her she attempts to remember self defense methods. All of a sudden there are headlights and screeching brakes and a voice she knew and trusted telling her to get in the car. Edward...she feels a relief wash over her. What the hey? Where did he come from? Edward gets in and starts driving and other than asking Bella if she is okay, he asks her to talk nonsense until his anger cools. She says p163"I'm going to run over Tyler Crowley tomorrow before school?" He smirks and asks why. She explains the rumor and says he must be doing it out of guilt for the non-accident months earlier.

She asks if he can take her to where she was supposed to meet the girls. He does so, just in time to see them leaving and then says he is taking her to dinner. HUH????? The girls were worried but they already ate and they were going to head back to Forks. Edward intervenes that Bella should eat something and he will drive her back to Forks. They head into the restaurant and as the hostess seats them and leaves Bella points out that he shouldn't dazzle people and he replies:

p168 Edward "I dazzle people?"
p168 Bella "You haven't noticed? Do you think everybody gets their way so easily?"
p168 Edward "Do I dazzle you?"
p168 Bella "Frequently"

Edward is still trying to gauge if Bella is okay after the incident and notices she does not have a jacket. He takes his off and gives it to her. Chivalry is not dead. It is alive and well in the Cullens. She orders dinner and they start taking. During the conversation he reveals to her that he can read minds, everyone's except hers. How bizarre is that? She finishes eating, they get the check, which he of course pays and they leave. The chapter closes on Edward informing Bella that is her turn to finally answer his questions.

At this point, I have totally thought that, yes I know Edward is a vampire but nonetheless a gentleman. If only they made more men like this these days. He opens doors, he gives a lady his jacket, he picks up the tab for dinner all without complaint.

I just had a conversation with a close friend today that the real reason women of all ages are fawning over Robert Pattinson (other than the obvious good looks and sex hair) is that he IS Edward incarnated. He brought the character to life so well because that is who he is in real life...the gentleman. The definition of gentleman is well-mannered and considerate, with high standards of proper behavior who "always tries to make sure the people around him are as comfortable as possible." (I got that last section from the movie Blast from the Past) You can just feel this in the authors mannerisms given to the character. With every golden word she uses to give Edward a voice be it in actual dialogue or mannerisms it just flows through the reader.

My emotions are running a little stronger with each chapter I finish and my heart is soaring for these young characters.

These quotes I have pointed out are a few of my favorites throughout the series. At the end of my journey of discovery I will post my conclusion and my absolute favorite Top 3 quotes from each book.

And on that note - Chapter 9

Chapter 7 (Nightmare)

Still reeling from the revelations in the last chapter I am continuing on.

Tired after the beach Bella goes right to her room upon arriving home. She digs out her portable CD player and drifts to sleep.

In her subconscious dreams she is in the forest with Jacob, Mike and Edward, all on different sides of the forest and all offering differing advice. She screams and awakens from the night terror. It is way too early to get up, however she cannot go back to sleep. Instead, she showers and decides to do research on vampires. She finds a site that might have the information she seeks so she starts reading. She comes across 3 entries which catch her eye. The third has the strongest pull for her.

p134-135"About this last there was only one brief sentence. Stregoni Benefici: An Italian vampire, said to be on the side of goodness, and a mortal enemy of all evil vampires. It was a relief, that one small entry, the one myth among hundreds that claimed the existence of good vampires"

She is trying to reconcile what little she knows from movies and all the various entries flashing on her computer and decides that not many written myths follow what she has observed regarding the Cullen family.

She snaps off her computer and decides she needs to get away from the house. She ignores the truck and decides to take a walk. Heading towards the woods, she reflects on what Jacob has told her. If there is truth to his fable what is she going to do about it? She rules a resounding 'impossible' at first, then analyzes the Cullens mannerisms along with statements made by Edward. She realizes she is in way over her head but that cannot be changed due to the magnetic pull he exerts over her. With her decision made she goes back to focusing on her ordinary daily life.

Another (rare) sunny school day and like clockwork Mike was all over Bella like a puppy. He asks her out (again) but this time she has reached the end of her patience and tells him that Jessica likes him and he should ask her out. The girls ask Bella if she will go with them to Port Angeles to dress shop for the dance. Bella is saddened by the absence of the Cullens this day.

The chapter closes on the beginning of the shopping excursion (Chapter 8 next)

What have I learned from this chapter? Never listen to heavy music before going to sleep, never research whats troubling you immediately after you wake up from a nightmare and trust your instincts.

Although I waver on the actual existence of vampires mostly due to my religious upbringing, I have seen enough movies, read enough books and even watched one or two of those weird documentaries stating that vampires are real to know that people will believe what they see with their own eyes rather than what they feel or what other people speculate on. I know how it is to be a believer in some things and a non believer in others and I empathize with Bella on this point as she attempts to mesh the fantasy with the reality.

At 17, it is hard to know your own mind but you have to make decisions and stick with them as Bella has done so forcefully in this chapter. I only wish now that I had her mindset at that age when I was all over the page on what I was going to do with the rest of my life. C'est la vie...Such is life. Fast forward to Chapter 8.

Chapter 6 (Scary Stories)

Ah Friday! The inquisition about what Edward wanted from Bella the day before has occurred and she has skirted the issue but her friends think there is more to tell. The crew is sitting around now and discussing their plans for the beach excursion. At home, Charlie is glad that Bella is going out with her friends and Bella sees the slight parental guilt that he feels in leaving her alone so often.

In the morning Bella awakens with a rare appearance of the sun and meets her friends. Upon arrival they explore tide pools where a plethora of sea creatures and colorful landscaping are in abundance. The day wears on and they make their way back to 'camp' to dine. Returning to the site, they observe visitors, who by their looks, are from the Indian reservation. Another group heads off, leaving Bella and a few others fireside. One of the newcomers,Jacob sits by Bella and introduces himself. They realize they sort of know each other because his father is Charlies' friend Billy Black. They converse about their families and other trivial items.

A catty girl claims it a shame that the Cullens could not be there and queried if anyone invited them. Another nameless boy then blurts out: p121"The Cullens don't come here." This gets Bella thinking and she asks Jacob to take a walk as an ulterior motive to ask what this statement meant. They head down the beach where Jacob explains the Cullens are not supposed to come on to the reservation. Huh?

He begins telling Bella tribal legend of being descended from wolves and how the Cullens are descended from an enemy tribe 'cold ones'. He states they are not supposed to be a danger because they are civilized but there is always a risk. He then states that the Cullens are.......wait for it.......VAMPIRES. They discuss superstition, head back and the Forks students all leave.

Vampires??? Are you kidding me???? Wow! This was a twist I did not expect. No wonder Edward acts strange. I thought paranoid schizophrenic or manic depressive. Never in a million years had I expected this "V" word to crop up. This is not a situation I am equipped to handle. It gets me thinking back to the mannerisms and attitudes Edward showed in the earlier chapters and I guess it makes sense NOW.

In this chapter, I have relived excursions and discussions with friends, sleepovers and ghost stories and great memories. I see the 'me' I once was re-emerging with each chapter I read and realize we all need to revisit ourselves in our minds occasionally. Personally, this fantasy world now intertwined in my head has also taken over a small part of my heart.

I can't stop now.

Chapter 5 (Blood Type)

Open on a stunned Bella being late for class. The early classes pass by that Bella is unaware and she makes her way to her daily cafeteria unit and seeks out Edward with his family. He is conspicuously absent from them and she is disappointed. Jessica then points out that he is sitting alone and trying to get Bellas' attention. She slowly meanders to where he is and he requests that she sit with him.

Whoah!! What's this? Change of heart?

He starts to converse with Bella and bluntly, she points out that she doesn't comprehend half of the things he says. He then makes it clear he still thinks it is a bad idea that they are friends but he is tired of fighting himself because she holds a greater appeal to him than anyone else. He says to her:

p92"What if I'm not a superhero? What if I'm the bad guy?"

Lunch ends and she is off to biology class and he says he is ditching. Bella gets to class and the lesson of the day is...blood typing. Everything starts off fine but when the teacher proceeds to pierce Mikes finger, Bella loses it by getting faint.

Oh boy do I remember this. We did our blood typing in 9th grade and I thought for sure that I was going to pass out too. I cannot stand to see my own blood (opposite of Bella) but other peoples blood does not phase me.

Mike is to take her to the nurse and halfway there, out of nowhere appears Edward. He picks her up, takes her to the nurse and tells Bella he was in his car and he thought Mike was dragging her body off to bury. Edward proceeds to charm his way to get Bella out of gym (her last class of he day) and says he will drive her home.

Problem how to get her truck back? Edward informs her he will have Alice drop it off after school and they get into a heated discussion but Edward wins. They arrive at Bellas house and he wishes her well on the friends outing to the beach over the weekend, tells her he will not be in school the next day and asks her ever so sweetly to take care of herself and not: "fall in the ocean or get run over or anything."

So now I am back in junior high and high school myself 24 and 22 years ago respectively and empathizing with the characters in "Twilight." Each movement, rejection, classic situation (especially the blood typing in this chapter) has brought me to the realization that I still have a lot of that young girl in me and she is not dead and gone like I once thought. She is coming out as I engross myself into this journey of reading. This blog although so new has also brought me to the knowledge that people can change as they mature. I certainly want to get to know the people who read my comments and find out how they themselves have been affected by this series. Thanks to recent developments in my personal life for allowing me to continue this effort. Onward and Upward!

Chapter 4 (Invitations)

A month passes since the near accident and Bella's small group of acquaintances are watching over her and never giving a thought to the perspective of Bella that Edward was the hero in this scenario. Edward has taken to ignoring Bella again during class and only giving her the occasional nod of his head in acknowledgment of her presence.

A big school event is forthcoming, a 'girls choice ' dance. Jessica asked Bella who she was going to ask and she said she was not even going to the dance. Jessica proceeded to say she is going to ask Mike if that is okay. Bella says yes because she herself has no interest in Mike. Mike still tries after Jessica asks him to feel Bella out on whether she was going to ask him and she tells him she will be away.

Biology class, Edward is there and staring at her and the awareness she tried to forget springs alive again. When class ends HE speaks to her.

p74 "I'm sorry." "I'm being very rude, I know. But it's better this way, really."

Bella does not understand this cryptic comment, but goes along. The day ends with Eric leaning on her truck in the parking lot. He repeats the sentiment about the dance and she lets him down with the same answer as Mike. She is getting ready to drive home and gets stuck in the lot behind Edwards car and here comes Tyler to be the 3rd person to query about the dance. All these date requests are getting tiresome. What next?

The next morning she approaches Edward about the holdup the previous night and is irritated at him. He shocks her by saying he overheard she was making a run for it the night of the dance and wanted to know if she wanted to go with him to Seattle. This confuses and yet thrills her. She eventually says yes.

Okay.We have now established who the main characters in this saga are. Personally, I am thinking that Bella reminds me that I was once young and 'crushed' on the cutest boys in school. Of course she is more subtle about it than I ever was in her mannerisms and does not gush they way I did. She sees herself as ordinary which cannot help the plight of the other boys, Mike, Eric and Tyler. In my case, I was always trying to be the center of attention which now as an adult I see was not always the best approach to make and keep friends. As well, Edwards state of hot and cold is supremely confusing even to me. I always say that the 'Y' chromosome that men carry make them somewhat defective. Next up Chapter 5

Chapter 3 (Phenomena)

Snow turned into rain turned into an overnight ice mess. What a thing to wake up to. Especially for clutzy people like Bella. She dresses eats and leaves for school with the knowledge she will see Edward.

Arriving at school safely, she realizes that Charlie (her father) has put chains on her truck tires. At this gesture, not knowing whether to laugh because he sees his awkwardness in her or cry because of his apparent love although he cannot verbalize it, she contemplates. She is struggling to compose herself when....--- A loud screech interrupts with just seconds to observe....Edward is several cars away looking horrified and a large blue van is careening across the parking lot straight at Bella. All of a sudden recognition that Bella was not alone, someone was speaking to her and ohmigod it was HIM. He pushed her out of harms way. The accident that wasn't was over and he had some answers she needed but realized she was not going to get as the throng of school goers were rushing the scene, calling 911 and trying to determine the severity of what happened.

Charlie arrives on scene just as they were loading Bella into an ambulance. She's untouched by the incident but fuzzy on the details. In the Emergency Room, a fellow student Tyler is being treated for the injuries he received in the incident. Tyler was driving the blue van and hit a patch of ice which caused the skid. Edward is also there but under his own steam. In walks the doctor. This MUST be Edwards father the resemblance is so strong.

Bella is going home but prior she attempts to confront Edward to get the truth of the incident. When she looked at him she could tell his unpleasantness had returned and she was not going to get the answers she so desperately needed. That night she dreamed of Edward Cullen.

So my analysis thus far is totally correct. Edward is a head case. Nice to nasty and back again. Unfortunately, you can tell Bella feels strong emotions towards Edward as she goes from the need to confront him to the craving to see him to the dreaming of him at the end of the chapter. I am thinking 'schoolgirl crush, but at this point I am enthralled with the mystery that surrounds Edward and need to know what comes next because I am getting thoroughly engrossed and do not want to miss a thing.

Chapter 2 (Open Book)

Another typical teenage day. At least Bella is starting to make friends. The boys in school seem to be paying a little attention to her. All but one. Edward turns out to be a no-show and this gets Bella wondering and worrying.

At home, she finally gets in touch with her mother via e-mail about the few mundane experiences she has had and starts to settle in with her dad.

This cannot be easy on a 17 year old female to be a child of divorced parents and having to remember each moment where your loyalties and duties lay.

She queries her dad regarding the “Cullen” clan and he tells her the little he knows, emphasizing that the students have not given him any trouble and the medical field in Forks was lucky to have Carlisle.

Days pass and still no Edward at school. Running through my head at this point is that Edward is a total mental case who needs psychiatric help.

Second school week…snow. Not favorable weather for the awkward people like Bella and I, rain is a little more preferable. Lunch this day has now brought heightened awareness to Bella that Edward has returned and she will have to face him in Biology class. They are seated as partners but the atmosphere is slightly less tense than the prior week. He introduces himself, and strikes up a conversation while they are doing their class work, trying to get to know her better. Okay, now I think he really is imbalanced to be so polite after being so utterly rude. The day ends with Bella wondering what in the world just occurred.

My take: Although her various struggles seem to outshine those of the ‘average’ teenager, it seems that the daily grind of the “American” teen has not changed much in the 22 years since I personally left high school behind me. The intrigue is still with me so...onward to Chapter 3!

Preface and Chapter 1 (First Sight)

You are introduced to the narrator of the book in the preface. No name and no nonsense. Just a matter of fact statement from someone who acknowledges the trouble they are in and the situation they are facing. Brave soul.

Interesting start to a novel that is meant for 'young adults'.

I think I should stop right now and not waste my resources in reading this, however I am intrigued, so I continue.

In Chapter One we discover the narrator is a young female about 17 named Bella.

This story is obviously told from her perspective as you read a little further. She is painstakingly normal, awkward, and the assumption being made is she has not grown into herself yet by the tone of her thoughts.

p. 10 "I didn't relate well to people my age. Maybe the truth was that I didn't relate well to people, period".

Personally, at this point is when I started to empathize with her character due to feeling the same awkwardness during my school years.

First day at a new school and she's the center of attention although not happy about it, makes a few tentative friends and is especially observant at midday in the cafeteria, observing a group of 5 students (three male, two female) sitting isolated in a corner. She gets the gossip on them from another girl sitting with her and you now know these are The Cullens.

Stop: Is this what this novel was going to be? A telling of a young girls high school struggles? Continue...

Biology class: Bella is forced to sit with one of the male students from the 'cafeteria clique' and he seems to dislike her on sight. (Something else I identify with). She makes it through class, finishes her day and retreats to the office to turn in her first day documentation. Edward (you now know), her biology cohort is there trying to change his schedule. Why? Bella finishes up and gets in her truck. She is contemplating her day and heads for home.

My take on this beginning is that it's going to be about the struggles of Bella to fit in with a new life style and some overwhelming weirdness with this guy Edward. I will continue reading the story because of course now, I am starting to need to know what the discord is from Edward to Bella and I want to relive (in my mind) a much simpler time in life before my reality comes crashing in on me again. Tomorrow: Chapter 2

My Twilight Addiction

Okay readers. Don't hate me.

My knowledge of "Twilight" was nil to none even when the movie came out in November of 2008. Vampires remind me of horror films and even knowing that little did not endear me to the story or the film.

At the time, I was too busy being disappointed that "Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince" was postponed until Summer of 2009. As well, the young adult gothic romance, fantasy or however 'Twilight' is categorized is way outside of my normal reading genre or my normal movie viewings. I am so embedded emotionally into the classics of authors like Jane Austen, the Bronte sisters, Hemingway and others along with my guiltiest pleasure of the dime-store romance that this series was off my horizon and in outer space. Remember this as well, I am 38 almost 39 years old!

My first contact with "Twilight" came as a gift from a friend in return for a favor I had done. She presented me with the book and I thanked her kindly although I never thought I would actually pick it up and read it.

Boy was I ever wrong!!

That same evening, my curiosity got the better of me and I started reading it. Shocker...I actually liked it...no not liked LOVED! I could picture the characters in my head, hear them speaking and drown out the reality of my own crazy life. I literally did not put the book down until I finished it at 1:00 AM the following morning!

Okay, I thought I was done and although my curiosity won out I was absolutely NOT going to go out and purchase the sequel books and was NOT going to see the film. I was and still am upset about the Harry Potter thing thinking the studio postponed the release for fear of competition. How right I probably am now that I see what a HUGE phenomena this Twilight saga really is.

I went to work the following Monday and was speaking to a co-worker and she said she had the movie on DVD and would lend it to me. I thanked her and that Friday I borrowed the movie and took it home to watch. When I got home and put the DVD on (my husband went in the other room) and I got so mesmerized by the film that the next day I had to go out and purchase my own copy which I knew I had to have in my vast DVD Collection.

I then told my friend that I absolutely had to have the rest of the books, which to my surprise she said she was going to purchase for me in a few weeks time. I watched the film several times in the next few weeks in anticipation of receiving the rest of the "saga". I planned on not being as intricately involved in the rest of the books as I was the first, however that turned out to be impossible! This blog is going to take you through my experiences chapter by chapter, book by book as a more mature reader of a young adult series.